burgrs:

I failed my final because a GIRL sitting next to me was wearing a TANK TOP ad i saw her sholders and got distracted all the blood in my brain went to my huge Dong

suspnd:

suspnd:

suspnd:

my best friend just realized 30 minutes before her curfew that she’s an hour away from home in the most dangerous part of the city alone with the buses no longer running so she calls the police to take her home i cant stop laughing

update the cop that came to pick her up is a hot 20 year old guy thats flirting with her and now im not laughing anymore

SHE FUCKING HOOKED UP WITH THE COP

alecstasy:

alecstasy:

my dog just had surgery to get a nipple removed and when she came home after the surgery she immediately walked to the window and she has been staring out of the window for like half an hour now thinking about her new life with one less nipple

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